“Happy Birthday, And May Every Day Be Another Wonderful Secret”: Trump, Epstein, and the WSJ Letter That Shatters His Lies
He told the Wall Street Journal not to publish it. He threatened lawsuits. Then he blamed Obama. The Epstein birthday letter is real — and it’s just the beginning.
Let’s get this out of the way first.
The Wall Street Journal knew precisely what it was doing. And it’s the tip of the iceberg.
They published a birthday letter allegedly sent by Donald J. Trump to Jeffrey Epstein — complete with crude sexual innuendo, a hand-drawn pair of breasts, and a pubic region labeled “Donald” — because they had lead-pipe lock certainty it was real. They anticipated the threats, the denial, the lawsuits. They did it anyway.
And no, this isn’t the punchline. It’s the opening salvo. Buckle up.
The Letter
The letter, dated 2003 and unearthed from a birthday scrapbook Ghislaine Maxwell compiled for Epstein, is unlike anything we’ve seen — and yet, exactly what we expected. A typewritten note signed “Donald” next to an illustration of a naked woman, with “Donald” scribbled in the place of pubic hair, is about as subtle as a wrecking ball through a daycare.
The note reads like bad Trump fanfiction: awkward brags, flirtatious undertones, and wink-wink language about being “enigmas” and having “certain things in common.” It ends with this gem:
It doesn’t take a research genius to know what he’s talking about.
“Happy Birthday — and may every day be another wonderful secret.”
Imagine writing that to a man already known for recruiting teenage girls under the guise of massages. Imagine doing so with delight. This is Trump in his own voice — creepy, arrogant, and surrounded by predators.
The Panic Response
Two days before the story dropped, WSJ reporters reached out to Trump for comment. What did he do?
Threatened to sue the Journal and Rupert Murdoch.
Claimed the letter was a fake.
And then blamed Obama and Biden for “making up” the Epstein files.
Because of course he did.
That’s Trump’s tell. When the truth closes in, he screams “HOAX,” files a lawsuit he won’t win, and throws a tantrum about Joe Biden. But this time, the story didn’t die. In fact, it metastasized.
Pam Bondi, Trump’s handpicked Attorney General, immediately echoed his denial and announced she’d petition a court to unseal grand jury testimony from the Epstein case — but only the grand jury testimony, which by law doesn’t name uncharged co-conspirators. What about videos, photographs, and other recordings? What about FBI 302s (witness interviews)? What about texts and emails? That’s where the evidence about Trump and others will be. Grand jury testimony will only relate to Epstein and Maxwell.
That’s the trap. Trump wants you to think he’s “being transparent” when in reality he’s flooding the zone with nothing burgers.
Why the Grand Jury Testimony Is a Distraction
Here’s the con:
Trump is demanding the release of Epstein’s grand jury material — not because it’ll expose sex traffickers, but because it won’t. Grand juries don’t indict shadows. They only focus on the accused (Epstein) and the victims.
They can’t name people who weren’t charged.
They can’t describe the clients.
They won’t name Donald Trump.
In other words: Trump is trying to release the one part of the Epstein case that legally can’t touch him and doesn’t include him.
He’s dangling a sanitized sliver of the story while hiding the full archive — the flight logs, the FBI notes, the surveillance photos, the digital records, and the names of the VIP clients who funded Epstein’s empire of abuse.
It’s sleight-of-hand. A conman’s trick. A Trump classic.
“It’s Fake!” Won’t Survive 24 Hours
Trump's meltdown was immediate and predictable:
“I’ll sue the WSJ.”
“It’s fake.”
“This is a Democrat scam.”
“Obama and Biden made it up.”
The problem? It won’t last. Because here’s the part Trump always forgets: the Journal has receipts.
They wouldn’t run a story this radioactive without authentication — likely including handwriting analysis, chain of custody, and confirmation from multiple sources (including someone who saw Trump send it). And insiders say the WSJ has much, much more.
This was the opening shot. Designed to bait Trump into overreacting — and boy, did he deliver. Now that he’s screamed “fake!” and threatened to sue, the WSJ is almost certainly ready to publish more.
They’re drawing him out. And he’s taking the bait.
The MAGA Meltdown Begins
This isn’t just a Trump scandal — it’s a MAGA identity crisis.
For years, Trump’s supporters peddled conspiracies about Epstein’s “black book” and a mythical “client list.” They said Trump would expose the elite pedophiles. That he was the chosen one to take them down.
But now? Trump is actively suppressing the Epstein files.
He’s calling the investigation a “hoax.”
He’s telling his base to shut up about it.
And MAGA is not taking it well. Especially Nick Fuentes, who better be careful because his last name is VERY deportation worthy in 2025:
Far-right influencers like Charlie Kirk and Tim Pool, who once begged for the Epstein files to drop, are now frantically backpedaling. Trump insiders are leaking, confused. And even Trump’s allies in Congress — like Speaker Mike Johnson and Rep. Ralph Norman — are breaking ranks, asking why Trump won’t release everything.
The walls are closing in — and this time, it’s coming from inside the cult.
Trump and Epstein: The Evidence We Already Have
Let’s stop pretending this birthday letter exists in a vacuum.
We already know:
Trump and Epstein partied together for years — just the two of them, with “calendar girls” and teenage models.
Trump once described Epstein as a “terrific guy” who “likes beautiful women as much as I do — many of them on the younger side.”
Epstein recruited victims from Mar-a-Lago — one of his victims was working there when she was groomed.
Flight logs. Party photos. Witness testimony. Surveillance footage. It’s all real.
And now we have a birthday letter, featuring sexual imagery and Trump referring to Epstein as his partner in “wonderful secrets.”
How many more of those “secrets” are buried in the files Trump won’t release?
🪦 The Secrets Trump Can’t Keep Buried
The DOJ says there’s no client list.
Trump says the files are boring.
His followers say it’s a setup.
The victims say otherwise.
The public doesn’t need a “client list.” We already know what Epstein did, who enabled it, and who flew with him. What we need now is full transparency. Not cherry-picked grand jury documents. Not angry posts on Truth Social. And definitely not a man who sends pornographic birthday wishes to convicted predators.
Trump knows more is coming. That’s why he’s lashing out.
And when the next round hits — when more letters, pictures, or names drop — we’ll remember that his first response wasn’t honesty.
It was:
Threaten the press.
Blame Obama.
And tell the world he has nothing to hide… while hiding everything.
Call it a HOAX
ATTN MAGA Water Carriers
Every Republican, MAGA podcaster, and media lackey who spent the last 5 years carrying Trump’s water on Epstein — you’re on notice.
You believed him when he said he’d release the files.
You believed he was “not like the others.”
You lied for him.
You buried the stories.
You ignored the photos.
You supported a rapist/felon/conman for President. Don’t act surprised or let down. You got suckered. Accept it, then permanently delete your accounts.
Your tears are delicious.
WSJ puppet masters making Trump dance. The sense of grim satisfaction watching this play out can't be overstated.
*chef's kiss*
“Mommy? I feel dirty.”
Sincerely …yuck
However!!
I’M FEELING THE TIPPING POINT!
The trees are ready! And the chickens are on their way