Let's Break Down "TACO Trump's" Fourth Grade Tariff Threat Letter to Canada. LOLZ...
Trump's latest 35% trade tantrum triggers market chaos, spelling errors, and Canada can't stop laughing.
July 11, 2025
What do you get when you mix petty economic threats, fictional data, and a man who thinks diplomacy is a yelling contest in all caps?
Another letter from Donald Trump threatening to tax Americans (35%) unless Canada stops America’s fentanyl problem.
This one was a 4th grade DOOZY:
“YOU WILL NEVER BE DISAPPOINTED IN THE UNITED STATES!!!”
A 35% tariff on all Canadian imports “starting” August 1? TACO Trump’s reasoning? We (Canada) apparently control fentanyl trafficking, gouge U.S. dairy farmers at 400%, and owe Trump a personal apology.
How did Trump come up with 35%?
Check this out:
The best part?
Someone shorted the NASDAQ and dumped the Euro, just minutes before the “announcement.” So either the financial world is clairvoyant… or someone in Trump’s circle is leaking policy for profit.
The markets reacted before Trump’s letter went public.
Let’s get into it. And spell check his letter while we’re at it, for fun.
The Bomb Drops — But Markets Already Knew
But the stock market didn’t wait for the announcement—it flinched before it happened.
7:52 PM EST: NASDAQ futures began a steep sell-off.
8:06 PM EST: Trump’s tariff letter went public.
8:10 PM EST: Markets hit bottom.
📉 The drop wasn’t a reaction—it was pre-action.
Investor Spencer Hakimian, who tracks suspicious market behavior, flagged it immediately:
“They aren’t even hiding it anymore.” — Spencer Hakimian, Tolou Capital CEO
Minutes before Trump’s letter hit the internet, traders dumped Canadian-linked stocks, shorted the Euro, and made a mint when prices rebounded seconds after the news broke:
This wasn’t market instinct. It was coordinated knowledge—a front-run. Somebody knew.
Charts Don’t Lie
Chart #1: NASDAQ Futures
Timestamped trades show a sharp dip beginning at 7:52 PM—a full 14 minutes before Trump’s letter went public. The market bottomed out 4 minutes after the news hit, then rebounded—just in time for a few lucky traders to cash in.
Chart #2: Euro Market
The same pattern: Sell-off at 7:59 PM, rebound just after 8:06 PM like clockwork.
You don’t need a PhD in finance to see it: this wasn’t luck. This was a pump-and-dump scheme disguised as trade policy.
✍️ Let’s Fact-Check and Spell-Check Trump’s “Dear Canada” Letter:
Besides being riddled with bizarre capitalizations ("Tariffs", "Dairy Farmers", "Country") and tortured run-on sentences, the actual content is worse than the grammar.
🤥 Claim: Canada causes the U.S. fentanyl crisis.
False. Over 99% of U.S. fentanyl seizures happen at the southern border. Canada’s share? Less than 1%.
🧀 Claim: Canada charges U.S. dairy farmers up to 400%.
False. Over-quota dairy tariffs are high (245–298%), but not 400%. And the U.S. does export over $1.1B in dairy to Canada annually.
💸 Claim: Canada’s trade policies created an “unsustainable” U.S. trade deficit.
LOL. The U.S.-Canada trade balance is nearly even when you count services. The deficit is minor and manageable, and often in America’s favor. Canada holds almost a TRILLION dollars in US T-Bills (US Debt). We owe Trump nothing, and we could crater the US economy with a T-Bill selloff if we wanted. And Carney might:
📉 Claim: The tariff starts August 1.
Narrator: It won’t. Trump has a long history of fake trade deadlines and last-minute walkbacks. We call him Taco Trump for a reason (see below).
“Taco Trump”: The Man Who Cried Tariff
Trump’s August 1 deadline? Don’t hold your breath. Here’s his track record:
2019: Threatened 25% tariffs on Mexico. Canceled them 3 days before implementation.
2020: Threatened auto tariffs on the EU. Delayed until 2027.
April 2025: Promised “Liberation Day” tariffs. Paused them within a week.
July 2025: Delayed again. Now it’s August 1. You see the pattern?
This man couldn’t enforce a lunch deadline without firing three aides and blaming Canada. He’s a fraud.
Carney isn’t, and he scares the hell out of Trump. That’s why he posted the letter instead of picking up the phone or saying anything to Carney’s face at the G7.
🇨🇦 Canada’s Response? Whatever, Dude - We Moved On.
Prime Minister Mark Carney replied with calm professionalism, reaffirming Canada’s commitment to stopping fentanyl trafficking (which we’re already doing) and negotiating like grown-ups.
Carney knows the Fentanyl excuse is Bullshit. Trump does too. Carney cited the North American fentanyl issue. Not Canada’s. We don’t have one:
Trump’s Big "Fentanyl" Lie About Canada Just Got Exposed— US Senators Are Lining Up For Canada on Tariff Day And Trump Is Furious
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Privately? Canada is laughing.
Carney’s team literally laughs at these threats now. We lead the free world in laughing at TACO.
We’ve seen this movie before.
🚨 This Isn’t Policy — It’s a Pump and Dump Designed to Change the Epstein Channel
Between the suspicious market timing, the baseless economic claims, and Trump’s long history of treating public office like a private ATM, this letter isn’t foreign policy—it’s economic vandalism for profit.
Trump moves markets with a tweet. His insiders front-run the chaos. The rest of the world pays for the volatility, while a select few cash out while changing the news cycle from The Epstein Files cover-up to Canada.
We literally don’t give a shit anymore. Canadians will just turn up the boycott…
And keep building, moving away from you and any dependence on America. Trump’s America.
There's nothing to say about "he who sits in the Oval Office." I pretend I am Canadian whenever I read the Blundell Substack and laugh my ass off. Unfortunately, I wake up and find I am still a Minnesotan. Thank you, Canada, you give me something to laugh about almost every day.
And Simon says, Trump threatening 35% tariffs on Canadian goods across the board
U.S. President Donald Trump posted a copy of the letter, addressed to Prime Minister Mark Carney, on his Truth Social account. It said the tariff will be enacted Aug. 1 and will be separate from sectoral taxes, like the one on copper. Any additional retaliatory tariffs that Canada places on the U.S. will incur an equivalent increase to the 35 per cent, Trump wrote.
"There will be no tariff if Canada, or companies within your country, decide to manufacture product within the United States," the letter read.
Trump said the tariffs will take effect on Aug. 1 and wrote that he will increase the levies if Canada retaliates.
While Carney said Canada would negotiate to the revised deadline date, he also added the country was "strengthening our trade partnerships throughout the world."
Foreign Affairs Minister Anita Anand said just Thursday morning that she was hopeful an agreement could be reached by the July 21 deadline.
"No one can terrorize a whole nation, unless we are his accomplices." ‘A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves.’”